And Then I Wet My Knickers
by nwkd
Summary: Set about a month after 'Love is a Many Trousered Thing.' A basic continuation of Georgia Nicolson's mad and marvy life. Heavy on the Dave/Georgia front. If you read, it would be really awesome if you review good or bad.
1. Jas, I’ve had an epiphinational whatzit

**Disclaimer:** Anything you recognize I don't own.

**A/N: **This takes place about a month after 'Love is a Many Trousered Thing.' I know it doesn't sound extremely Georgiafied but I didntdidn't, dint, didst, dent, tint, dissent" / have the books in front of me. Be kind please. Heavy Dave/Georgia.

* * *

**august 23**

**in my room**

**6:03**

M and V have just told me they are going out and taking my loon sister with them. Thank you our lord Sandra. That means a whole hour of quiet silence to me before I have to meet the Ace Gang.

**6:05**

It's boring being all alone with nothing to do. I think I will put on some music and do some mad dancing until it's time to leave.

**6:45**

Now I have to rush to reapply my makeup that has melted off my face. Only 15 minutes to get to the clock tower. Rush, rush, pant, pant!!

Ran to the door and tripped over Angus. Oww!!

**7:01**

Got to the meeting place just in time to see Sven throw RoRo over his shoulder and run away screaming like a loon on a loon table. (Which he is). Rosie was giggling like mad as her knickers flapped away in the wind. I question her sanity.

Jas and Hunky walked off after them followed by Jools and Rollo, leaving me, Ellen, and Dave alone. Ellen started dithering like a dithering thing in dither land. Dave the L just looked at me and went crossed eyed. Ellen went, "Er . . . we should, you know . . . maybe we, like, they may be . . . you know, like . . . waiting, like . . . yeah?" And with that we were off.

**midnight**

Oh my giddygods trousers!! Tonight was the best and worst night of my entire life. I am so full of confusosity it should be illegal.

We walked into the club and my knees instantly went jelliod. I had forgotten how gorgey Robbie was when he sang. We went over to Rosie and Sven and the whole gang did mad dancing for ages. We taught the boys the Viking Disco which was a huge mistake, as Sven took it literally and decided he was a Viking. (Which he is).

The Stiff Dylans started playing a slower song and suddenly I felt Dave's arms around my waist. What?? Wasn't our snogging fandango enough? Everything was finally going smooth, I had put the "I love you" incident behind me with a firm hand, and now he suddenly touches my waist?? Oh bloody hell, I can't help but give in.

Dave and I were dancing really nicely for quite a bit. He was the perfect size, not to short like he used to be when we were official snogging partners. Although our snogging is pretty official now, with all those accidental incidents. Shut up brain!!

Anyway, I looked up to the stage to get a look at the Sex God singing. Mistake! He looked as if he wanted to kill me. What had I done to him? Why did he suddenly think I killed his kitten? Oh well, who cares I was having a nice dance with my mate. But then the song ended and Dave didn't let go. I was extremely awkward because the next song was quite fast and everyone around us was dancing right along with it. I went, "Er. . ." and then Dave leaned into me and said, "You look really beautiful tonight Georgia." And that's when my brain fell out.

Everything suddenly came rushing to me like a . . . rushing thing. I pushed away from Dave and ran over to Jas. I had to pry her away from Hunky and pull her over to the bar.

"What?"

"Jas, I've just had an epiphinational whatzit."

She looked at me like I had four heads. Which I might have. At this point, anything was possible.

"My petite pal, please try to follow. I was dancing with Dave and he leaned in and said 'you look really beautiful tonight Georgia.' and then it hit me."

Jas was still looking at me funny and then she said, "Dave hit you?"

God, she was so dim sometimes. "No, Jazzy Spazzy, _it_ hit me. Not _he_ hit me."

"What hit you? Your making very little sense, I'm going back to dance with Tom."

I had to practically yank her arm off to stop her from going. She's getting quite strong. Maybe all that romping in the woods has done her good. "It has hit me that I in fact fancy the pants off Dave the Laugh. A lot. Quite possibly more than I fancy Massimo, which is quite a lot."

She stared at me again. She was starting to annoy me. I may have to kick her. I took a deep breath to refrain from injuring her. But before I could say anything she hugged me. Not in a lezzie way but in a matey sort of way.

Then she said, "Oh, Gee, it's about time you realized it." What in the name of her huge knickers was she talking about? I said, "What in the name of your huge knickers are you talking about?"

"Come on Gee, it's a bit obvious that you two fancy each other. I mean you're always "accidentally" snogging. Tom's even noticed it."

"Thank you for telling ME, you know the one person who might actually want to know something like that."

She just laughed. "Now go tell Dave how you feel, he went outside." She hugged me again. She really was a good mate. Then she shoved me toward the door. Or not.

I stumbled outside and spotted Dave leaning against a tree. He really was quite fit looking.

"Dave, er . . . can I talk to you?

"Sure thing KittyKat, come share my trunk." (Oo-er). Cor, he was really gorgey when he did that crinkly smile thingy. Breathe . . .

I was prepared to say, "Dave, because I am full of maturosity and pridosity I have decided to put my foot down with a firm hand on my hornosity and tell you that I do indeed fancy you" but when I got close to him I just went "Nuggggh" like my brain had fallen out, which it might have.

Instead of running screaming from me he just stood there and waited for me to say something. Inside I was screaming YOU STUPID PRAT JUST UNDERSTAND THAT I FANCY YOU!! but my mouth refused to move. Stupid mouth.

I guess Dave noticed the battle between my brain and my mouth cause he said, "Sex Kitty, are you having trouble saying something?" I nodded. It was the best I could do. He got this really naughty smirk and said, "Then shall we play a guessing game?" I nodded again. I was becoming one of those dogs that you see in the back of peoples cars. Merde.

"Do you want to have a quick snog?"

"Er . . ."

"Do you want to dump your homosexalist boyfriend and become my official snog partner?"

I nodded. AGAIN! His face suddenly became extremely unDave-like and he leaned toward me. "About time, KittyKat." Then his lips were on mine.

It was bloody fantastic! Not like we never snogged before but this time was like the first time. And not to mention on purpose for once.

I was thoroughly enjoying the moment and clearly so was Dave. He had me pushed up to the tree like a pushing thing and was moaning against my mouth!! I had made a boy go jelliod knickers!! SUCCESS!!! I was really enjoying the party in my head, the lip nibbling (yummy), and the moaning until. . .

* * *

**A/N:** Muahahahaha!! Major cliff hanger!!! Don't worry though. Next chapter is being typed as we speak. . . or should that be as you read? 


	2. You ARE a whore on wheels

**same bat time, same bat place**

"Georgia?"

Oh no, I recognized that gorgey voice anywhere. I detached myself from Dave's mouth and popped my head around his (which was a mistake as he just found that as an invitation to attach his lips to my neck. Although it did feel rather groovy. . . Shut up!!)

There was Massimo looking like he was about to turn into Niagara Falls. Lurve Gods weren't supposed to cry, but I guess they could if they come back from Pizza-a-go-go and catch their supposed girlfriend having the horn for one of her mates. This is exactly what had happened for you dim lot who have not been following.

I cannot believe I forgot he was coming back today. Am I a crap girlfriend or what? The answer to that, by the way, would be "Yes Georgia, you are indeed the crappiest of crappiest of girlfriends."

Behind Massimo was Robbie still looking extremely cross. Well, this explains the death stare from before. I hadn't killed his cat after all. He probably thought that I forgotten the Lurve God was do to arrive today. He was right.

I shoved Dave off of me. (Rather hard because I heard him go "Ophff" and then a rather loud thud). I needed to talk to Massimo without Dave the Laugh on my neck and preferably without Robbie staring at me like a staring thing.

"Massimo, I -"

He cut me off and said, "You have broken my heart, Caro." Then he turned and walked back inside.

Merde, merde, and also poo.

Robbie was still staring at me (stop it staring!!) and Dave was still moaning on the ground. So I did the only sensible thing to do. I ran. Fast.

Once I got around the park a few blocks down I let the blubbering begin. I sat down on a bench and let the tears flow freely. Tears falling, nostrils flaring, snot snotting. I felt like a sprinkler. Well at least the grass with be healthy.

After about four years of blubbering for all of bloody England I heard my name.

I looked up and it was the Sex God. Bloody hell, what did he want. I said, "Bloody hell, what do you want."

He just sat down next to me.

"Look, if you're here to tell me how much of a crap girlfriend I am, I don't need it. I am well informed."

But he didn't say, "You're a horrid girl and you should be sent to a home for the evil" or "Wet Lindsay was correct you ARE a whore on wheels." He said, "I know how you feel."

I looked at him oddly. Right, cause someone as gorgey as a Sex God could have lurve problems.

"I had the same problem between you and Lindsay, remember?" Oh yeah, that. "I liked you both, but for different reasons. And everything with that turned out alright."

I still didn't say anything. I didn't want to run the risk of giving him a shower.

He sighed and put his arm around me. There was a time that would have made me fall off the bench, but tonight I was feeling way to pooie. He sighed, "It's very obvious that you fancy Dave. I think even Mas knew it a bit." I kept silent. I was not about to agree and then have him run off and tell Massimo that I killed his cat! Er . . . I mean, well you know. "Look Gee, just tell Dave how you feel, but make sure you talk to Mas too. He'll understand."

I took a deep breath and looked up with my eyes full of sadnosity. He said, "Come on, I'll walk you home."

I was too upset to resist. Besides if I was left alone who knows what would have happened. I probably would have started snogging squirrels.

At my gate Robbie grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes. For the first time I didn't turn into Miss Jelliod Knickers. Maybe it was because my eyes were all blurry and squinty from blubbering like a cow. Or maybe because I was full of confusosity from the Massimo/Dave the Laugh fandango. Either way it was a little strange.

"Don't worry Gee. Everything will turn out alright. Trust me." He kissed me on the cheek and said, "Call if you need someone to talk to."

**12:01**

And now her I am, queen to the land of extreme confusosity on my throne of pain between a Lurve God and a Laugh God (not literally you dirty birdies. Although that would be completely marvy, having them both snogging me within an inch of my life. At the same time. Yummy Scrumbos! Shut up brain, shutupshutup!!!).

**12:15**

Oh no. The Swiss Family Mad have returned. I can hear them banging about. I must brace myself for a room invasion.

**12:17**

Mutti peeked her head round my door to see if I was awake. Clearly I am.

She said, "Oh, you're still awake. Why?"

I've accidentally said, "Because I am a red bottomed minx who likes to break the hearts of Lurve Gods."

"Meet me in the sitting room. I'll make milky pops."


	3. Are you feeling feverish? You're smiling

**12:30**

Mum and I are having sort of a mini sleep over in the living room. It's actually quite fun as mum has made oven chips and milky coffee.

I have also accidentally told her everything. And not just from tonight. I have spilled everything from meeting SG, using Dave the Laugh as a red herring, landing the Lurve God, and even all my accidental snogs with Dave!

When I finished the tale of my life she just went, "Wow."

Cheers, thanks a lot.

She was silent for quite some time. Then she said, "It's quite obvious you fancy this Laugh boy. I think you should date him. Night."

Maybe she was right.

**1:01**

Did I really just agree with Mutti?

What is this world coming to?

**1:06**

Oh fresh hell. Libby has just clunked down the stairs. She has her entire toy chest with her. Literally, she is dragging it behind her. She has a lot of strength for a child of five. It is not normal.

She has squeezed herself between me and Mutti and snuggled down.

I tried to cuddle up with her but she just hit me on the head with Our Lord Sandra and said, "Bat Boy, sleepy time."

Not like I can sleep, with my mind so full of –

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz.

**saturday**

**august 24**

**10:40**

Woke up with Libby's toe in my eye. Oh the joys of a normal family life (not).

**11:06**

Vati came down the stairs while Mutti, Libby, and I were playing with Scuba Diving Barbie.

He said, "Georgia, are you feeling feverish? You're smiling. . ."

Really, he is vair annoying. And his beard is getting out of control. It's like a furry animal has curled up and died on his face.

**1:00**

Phone rang.

It was RoRo. She wanted me to go to her house for an Ace Gang meeting.

Since I was planning on spending the day groveling in the dark in my room I said, "Not today pally. I'm not feeling very well."

"Sven and I almost got to number ten last night."

"I'll be there in a minute."

* * *

**A/N:** I know it's extremely short. But there will be another one soon. Promise 


	4. And then I wet my knickers

**1:30**

At Rosie's. Her parents have gone for the weekend. She has got perfectly normal parents who leave her alone when she is having a person crisis.

We were sitting around eating a nutritional meal (Pop-tarts) waiting for Rosie to tell us what happened.

She was taking far too long. I said, "RoRo are you going to tell us what happened or are you going to leave us waiting like two waiting things?"

"Well after we left the gig we came back here. We went into my room and climbed the snogging scale rather quickly. Then Sven said, "I love you."

We well all full on attention wise. Jas even stopped eating. Jools asked if he ever said it before.

"No! That's why I was so shocked. To be honest I didn't even think he knew what he was saying. I mean I do love him, but . . ."

That was the first time I ever saw Rosie upset. It was not something I liked.

She continued, "So we kept going up the scale and we were both in our knickers."

Then Elle said, (or dithered was more like it) "Why did you, er . . . you know, like . . . not go, er . . . like stop?"

Shockingly Rosie understood her. "Well we were going all fine and all. And then I wet my knickers."

Er . . .

Jas almost choked on her Pop-tart. "You wet your knickers?!"

Rosie nodded. "I was nervous."

I put my arm around her shoulder. "What did Sven do?"

"He didn't seem bothered by it." (Not surprising. It is Sven, he probably thought it was normal) "He just let me change and then we went to sleep," She sniffed, "He'll probably never want to get to number ten with me again."

Rosie clearly wasn't thinking clearly. "You are forgetting an important fact. This is Sven we are talking about."

Jas, Miss Wise-Knickers, rolled her eyes at me. "Sure he will. He loves you. And if he loves you he should wait. Tom said that he would wait as long as I wanted . . ."

She was carrying on for all of merry England so I gave everyone the famous cross eyed look.

Ellen, getting the point for once, cut her off saying, "I think I'm finally over Dave the Laugh."

**1:56**

So apparently after I ran off:

Rosie and Sven almost reached number 10.

Jas and Tom had a slight row, but then made up. (probably about voles)

Ellen got off with one of Dave the Laughs mates, Mike.

I've decided this is a good thing, for I do not want the dither queen to hate me because of a bloke.

After discussing Ellen and Mike for a bit (they got up to number six) Jas turned to me. "What happened to you last night, Robbie told us he walked you home. Did you snog him too?"

I hate her.

**2:15**

Told the gang exactly what happened. The general consensus is that I should be with Dave the L. I agree.

On the dark side, I am also being forced by the Ace Gang to talk to Massimo. Poo.


	5. Dave the Miserable

**sunday**

**august 25**

**12:43 p.m.**

Just woke up. Still extremely confused on the boy front.

I really don't want to talk to Massimo, at all. It's only going to make me feel more crap than I already do.

Merde.

**1:06**

Phoned Robbie.

I needed to talk to someone. And he _did_ say to call him if I needed to talk. And I did.

Ring ring.

Please God, if you cannot make me blonde please make it Robbie who answers the phone.

"Hello?" It was Tom. Cheers, God.

"Hey Tom, it's Georgia." Pause. "Is Robbie there?"

"No, he went out. I think he's with Lindsay." Well good to see someone can have a normal love life. Well as normal as it can be when you're dating a complete wet.

"Oh, alright, well I guess I'll call back later."

I was about to hang up when Tom said, "Hey Gee, is everything alright?"

"Er… yeah, why?"

"Well, Jas told me what happened the other night." Thank you Radio Jas.

"Oh, well I, er… I guess everything will be okay once, you know, er… everything becomes okay." Omygiddygod! I was becoming Ellen's twin.

Tom didn't seem to mind because he said, "Listen Gee, you should really talk to Dave. He's been really upset about this whole thing. He hasn't been himself over the past few days. It's very depressing."

Christ cupcakes! I have killed Dave the Laughs laughability.

**1:24**

I got off the phone with Tom and decided I needed to talk to Massimo first. I need to sort this entire mess out. I will put my foot down with a firm hand on my red bottom. I vow to forever have the Specific Horn.

**3:46**

After about six hours of calling and hanging up whenever I heard his voice I am finally prepared to face him front on.

Omygodomygodomygod! It's ringing!!!

"Ciao?"

I slammed the phone down.

**4:07**

Meeting the Lurve God at Luigi's in a half hour. There is not point in even getting dressed (well of course I'll but clothes on. I wouldn't go meet the Lurve God in my nuddy-pants. That would be foolish).

Oh no, I feel as if my brain is about to go on a vacation to brain land. Must get it back.

**4:36**

Walked into Luigi's and found Massimo sitting alone at a table in the back.

I took a deep breath and walked over.

"Hi…" I was so nervous. It also didn't help that he still made me slightly jelliod knickers.

"Ciao, Georgia." He smiled at me. What? Did he forget what happened at the gig? "Sit down."

"Oh, er…okay."

We sat in silence for what felt like forever. It was really strange because we didn't even have any drinkies to distract us. It was like we were the only two with hearing at a deaf party.

I had to break it. "Listen, Massimo-"

He cut me off. We had all that silence to say something and then he goes and talks when I do. How rude is that? Extremely rude if I do say. Which I do. Because I heard myself. Or should I say, 'read myself'?

Where was I before I rudely interrupted myself? Oh yeah! He said, "Georgia I understand everything and you do not need to say anything. I know how hard this will be for you."

Okay, maybe he wasn't as rude as I thought. Or maybe he didn't feel like listening me babble on.

He kept going, "I am understanding how you feel about Dave and think it is for the better. Also, I am leaving to Italy forever. So it would be better if we remained, home you say, mates? No?"

I didn't know what to say. Gladly I didn't have to.

"Do not worry Georgia. I am not mad at you." He kissed me on the cheek. "Goodbye, caro." Then he left.

Whoa.

**5:36**

On my way home from the café. The talk with Massimo made me extremely cheery so I decided to go for a lovely stroll through the park.

I walked past a group of snoggers in a bush. Honestly, there were four people snogging (not all together) in one tiny little bush. If they were going for subtly they were failing miserably.

I was so distracted by the snoggers that I didn't notice the tree in front of me. I walked right into it.

Wait a tick, it wasn't a tree. It was Dave the Laugh. He obviously didn't know it was me because he kept walking.

I called after him, "Dave it's not nice to knock down a lady and not say sorry."

He turned around and said, "I don't see a lady. I see a red bottomed minx who enjoys hurting people." He lifted up his left arm. It was in a sling.

"Ouch, what happened? To much mad dancing?" I laughed. I was ignoring the red bottom comment.

"No, you did it. When you threw me off of you." Tom was right. He had officially become Dave the Miserable.

"Oh, well I need to talk you. I'll buy you a jammie dodger to make it up to you."

"I don't want to talk to you. I realized you'll never know what you want."

"I-"

"I'm so stupid. You broke my heart once. I stayed your friends because I didn't want to loose you. Then we have all these snogs in secret and I thought you would come to your senses but then you tell me about your problems with Robbie and the homosexual."

Christ on a bike, he was really yelling. Even the bush snoggers were watching him.

"Do you know how hard it is to hear you talk about other blokes when I'm in love with you? No, you wouldn't because every thing is always about you! Then the other night, I thought, she's finally making up her mind, and then you go and run off instead of telling Massimo. Well now I'm done waiting. It's too painful for me. Good Georgia."

Then he turned and walked off.


	6. I've decided to take up garbage therapy

**my room**

**6:30**

I refuse to shed any tears over Dave the Miserable. He is not worth ruining my makeup over.

**6:40**

Phoned Jas.

"Jas."

"_Oui?_"

"I have decided to take up garbage therapy."

"Gee, I've seen you do some strange things but if you begin to go through rubbish bins I will have to put my foot down."

It is so difficult being patient with her. "Jazzy Spazzy, I am not picking through the rubbish. I am throwing away everything that reminds me of Dave the ex-Laugh."

"_Non!_"

"_Oui_, would you like to come help?"

**7:00**

Jas and I brought some pop-tarts to my room and put on some loud music. Quick outbreak of 'lets go down the disco' to get us all loosey for therapy.

Alright, all ready.

**8:15**

We've been going through my room for 8 years and all I've thrown out was one note.

I turned to Jas. "This is not as helpful as I thought it would be."

She wasn't listening to me (not shocking). She was staring at a piece of paper.

"What is that? Did you find a nuddy picture of Libby?" I pulled it out of her hand and read it.

_One-legged girls are a pushover._

_Love Dave xxxx_

I suddenly had an idea. "Jas, I am so full of brilliancy I scare myself!"

**10:00**

Jas came with me to deliver my brilliant plan to Dave's house.

Made Jas phone Tom to find out where Dave the Laugh lived. It took her a million years to get it out of him because she kept giggling and doing flicky fringe. She looked like a tart (which she is).

I eventually had to kick her to speed up the process.

We dressed all in black. We were going for the James Bond-y look, v. chic. We waited until it was dark so we wouldn't be seen. I felt like an actual spy.

I made Jas hide in a bush outside of the Laughs house. She got all huffy with me and was complaining about getting her pants full of dirt.

"Jas stop complaining and look at all the lovely sticks around." That seemed to make her happy. At least she stopped moaning.

I said, "Alright pally, I'm going in. Wish me luck."

"You're only dropping it in his letterbox. Why do I need to wish you luck?" She really is a crap mate.

I ignored her and started to walk to his house. Jas suddenly said, "Wait! I'll come with you and hold your hand." That is why I love her.

We dropped it into the letterbox and then we ran like mad all the way back to my house, laughing like loons the whole way.


	7. One armed guys are a pushover

**friday**

**august 30**

**12:00 p.m.**

Still have not heard from Dave the Laugh.

I don't understand why he won't talk to me.

Alright, so what if I broke his arm. Maybe if he would spare a moment to talk to me he would understand how very sorry I am.

Uggh, boys are so difficult.

**2:30**

I think I will have to become a lezzie, like Jas's auntie.

**2:32**

Tried snogging a picture of Victoria Beckam. There is no hope on the lesbian front.

I will have to kill myself.

**3:30**

I have gone from the cake shop of love to the shop of pain.

**4:40**

Phone rang.

Flew down the stairs and practically ripped the phone off the wall. I couldn't have Libby answering the phone and singing Dave her rendition of "Sex Bum."

"Hello?"

"Hi Georgia, its Robbie." Bollocks. Thought it was…

"Oh, hi."

He laughed, "Judging by that, I'm going to assume things did not go well."

I said, "Well besides Dave rejecting me, hating me, and forcing me to either become a lezzie or kill myself, everything is keen."

**4:50**

As I was telling Robbie exactly how much Dave hates me, the doorbell rang.

Probably Mr. Nextdoor complaining about Angus again. Honestly, it's not my fault Angus thinks his poodles are little playing toys.

Bell rang again.

I said to Robbie, "Mutti and Vatti must be waiting for their slave daughter to get the door."

He laughed, "Alright, call me later if you need to. Bye."

I hung up and dragged myself to the door.

I shouted to anyone who would listen (i.e. no one), "I shouldn't be out of bed in my depressed state."

I opened the door. "What?"

"'One_ armed guys are a pushover'_? Honestly KittyKat, you can't come up with your own ideas?"

Ohmygodohmygodohmygiddygod!!! It was Dave the Laugh! I instantly went into goldfish mode.

He said, "Hello Dave, would you like to come in? Why thank you m'lady, I would love to." Then walked into the house.

As we walked to the couch Mutti walked in. She saw Dave, went "Oh, right, yes, okay" and left. She is not right.

Dave turned to me and said, "So…hello."

My mouth said (without my approval), "Why are you here?"

Dave cringed, "Thought you might say that."

Again my mouth said, "Not afraid I'm going to break something?" Shut mouth, shutupshutup!

"Easy KittyKat, at least let me apologize before you kick me in the trouser snake."

"Fine."

"Okay, so the reason it took me so long to talk to you was because I was scared. Yes, the amazing Dave got scared. I thought maybe you wouldn't want to talk to me. I was really stupid, a wanker actually. I should have listened to what you had to say. I over reacted. The only reason you pushed me away was because you got nervous. I'm sorry I got mad at you. Do you forgive me?"

I didn't know what to say. I stared at him like a staring thing for what felt like ages. Then he gave me that yummy crooked smile and I did the only thing I could do without looking like a fool.

I kissed him.


	8. Irresistable to toddlers

**4:45**

Yes! I have officially put down my Italian Cakey and Robbie éclair and officially purchased a Dave the Tart! Yes, yes, and three times yes!

After ages of fantastic lip nibbling snogging, Libby came in the front room and threw Pantalitzer's head at us.

She climbed onto Dave's lap and said, "Heggo Mr. Man, snog me too."

Blimey, I have finally made up my mind boywise and I suddenly have to compete with my five year old sister.

Dave laughed, "How about just a kiss on the cheek?"

Libby actually blushed! After he kissed her she leaped off his lap and ran into the kitchen.

Dave said, "I really am irresistible, even to toddlers."

**5:00**

Mum came into the living room and said, "Hello Dave, would you like to stay for dinner? I'm making bangers and mash."

Dave said, "Thank you, I would love to."

I said, "Who are you and what have you done with Mutti."

She ignored me and said, "Why don't you two just go up to your room, Gee. I'll call you when it's time too eat."

What!

**five minutes later**

We walked into my room and Dave said, "Your mum has got gigantic nungas. No wonder yours are that size, KittyKat.

I said, "That's not my mum, that's an imposter. Mine doesn't cook and she certainly does not let me alone with a bloke."

Dave said, "Maybe she's an alien imposter. Your real mum could be flying in space at this very moment."

I said, "I feel like I am at Jas's house."

Oh my god! I have to tell Jas.

"I'll be right back, don't move."

**in the front room**

Phoned Jas.

"Jas, it's me."

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because Dave the Laugh is in my room at this very second."

"_Non!_"

"_Oui_. I just wanted to tell you we are official snog partners. Phone round the Ace Gang for me?"

"Will do."

"Fanks. You truly are my bestie pally."

**my room**

Ohmygodohmygodohmygodohmygiddygod! Dave the Laugh was laying on my bed with his arms behind his head. On my bed. Lying. He looked so cool and gorgy and all together yummy. And we was mine all miney mine. I felt like I was in the twilight zone.

All I could do was just stand there looking at him like an idiot fish.

Dave said, "KittyKat, I know you're stunned by looks but if we're going to be official snog partners you're going to need to get used to it."

I said, "Actually, I was thinking about having to wash my duvet tonight, since your sitting on it."

He just smiled his crinkly smile and said, "Come here Sex Kitty."

**6:30**

Mum called us down for dinner. I almost had a heart attack when I walked into the kitchen. It actually smelled like a halfway normal person had been in there cooking. And there was no sign of the furry twits which was a good thing.

My parents (that is if they aren't imposters) kept asking Dave those kinds of questions all parents ask. 

"Do you plan on going to university?"

"Do you have a job?"

I tried to listen but I was distracted by Libby. She was actually eating like a normal human. She was using a fork and there was no hint of stray food hanging about her face. Every few bites she would look up and smile an actual normal smile at Dave. Hummph, maybe he was right. Libby might have a little kid fancy for Dave. HA!

**ten minutes later**

Everything was going really well and then Vati opened his gob. 

"Georgia, whatever happened to that Massimo chap?"

I almost choked on my food. Why would any normal person ask that when another boy is right there? Well, my dad is not normal so that explains a lot. I gave my dad my worst look.

Dave the Laugh didn't seem at all fazed by it. He just said, "He's been to busy buying handbags to notice her." And he grabbed kissed my cheek. In front of my parents. 

I thought dad was going to stab a hole into the table. But he actually laughed. A lot.

Suddenly we were all laughing like loons on a loon table. Libby was even back to her normal self, honking, wheezing, and spitting food everywhere.

I looked at Dave and smiled. He squeezed my hand under the table.

Maybe my life isn't as crap as I think it is.

* * *

**AN:** Thats it all .. this fic is fini. Thank you to all my readers and reviews, I love you all! 


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